Derek Acorah, you're my hero!!
At the moment I am sitting at home watching a programme called Most Haunted Live. It is a televisual ghost hunt and it is well… interesting to say the least. The investigators go to places that they know ghosts have been seen and see if anything happens to them. But that is not all, oooh no. They also take with them a psychic who can talk to the dead and act as a go between so we know what is going on with the ether. He says profound things like “I am getting a name… John. Yes I am getting the name John”
Now I am not saying I am a sceptic, I am but that is not what I am saying! But if you are standing in a house that you know is about 500 years old then odds are that some guy named John had lived there or had something to do with someone that lived there in the past. The best bit about the psychic though is that he does get things right sometimes but when he does it is so blatantly obvious that he knows the history behind the place and he is just trying to make “vague images” go to what we know. Like just now. He is in a house where an astronomist used to live and they way he got there this time was “I have a feeling I need to look up through the rafters and I have an image of the sun and the moon and stars, loads and loads of stars.” He then goes on to say “I don’t know what this means but he keeps showing me stars!” Ok… so people tell me. If you were seeing visions of stars and suns and moons and loads of stars and then some erm… stars would you or would you not think that maybe in some small way that the “dead” person that is talking to you was interested in stars and moons and things???
Another thing that cracks me up about this psychic is when he is possessed. You can see it coming. He has the same face for every possession. He starts of by sneering a little. Then his lip starts to quiver and then he screws his face up and dribbles a little and then? And then he refuses to speak. Apparently what can happen is a spirit can possess him but then they will refuse to speak. When they do speak however that is when the real entertainment starts. A few weeks ago he was having an episode and was possessed by an evil spirit and he turned on the female presenter. I will give him his dues he did try to speak in ye olde English and he did a fair enough job until he started quoting lines out of Blackadder! I swear he told the female presenter “Ye slovenly wench, ye whore ye! Show me your breasty dumplings!” And then proceeded to attack her. I kind of get the feeling that he just wants a good old grope and the spirits just seem to be willing to help him!
He also has something about child ghosts. As we speak he is seeing a childs death. It is being beaten and is pleading for its life and oh no! He was pushed down the stairs. Again though almost all the children’s deaths he sees are either pushed down the stairs or beaten by a woman with a stick and all the women say do exactly the same thing. They waggle their fingers at people and shout “You! Ooooooh you!!! Don’t you, Don’t you!!!” And then we start making hitting movements.
I would like to see something that would convince me that there are such things as ghosts but I don’t think this will ever prove anything to me. You could always say that the only way to know if they exist or not is to see one. Ah now we come to the fun bit. I have indeed had a couple of episodes myself. Admittedly when I was younger but to this day I am not too sure what happened. I was asleep one night and thought my nan came into my bedroom, this in itself was weird because she lived 50 miles away and it was 3am. But then she sat on my bed and told me she had come to say goodbye, gave me a kiss, tucked me back in to bed, told me to go back to sleep and then walked out of the door. The next morning when I woke up to go to school my I was told by my mum to sit down as she wanted to talk to me and I said to her “It’s ok, she’s dead, I know” This kind of freaked her out a little as there was no way I could of known and to this day she tells people about it (much to my ever growing embarrassment).
This did not just happen once though, it happened with my 2 grandfathers who died, kind of same way but different. Both came to say goodbye and on waking I found out they were dead and both times I told my mum before she told me. Maybe this is why I am more sceptic than most because I have had that happen and kind of know inside that the dead are no different to the living just… less so. They don’t go around floating about in sheets and they don’t talk to us through psychics who give vague messages about what their name might be and they don’t give clues! They say what they want to say!!
Please try to catch this guy in action, it will be one of the funniest things you have ever seen, his name btw is Derek Acorah and I do have to thank him for giving me some big chuckles tonight and please, if you ever happen to be in the same room as him, screw up your face, quiver your lip and ask to see his breasty dumplings the proceed to pretend to be a woman beating a child with a stick whilst shouting “Don’t you! Don’t you!!!” It might freak everyone around you out and he may get you arrested but it will be a great moment in your life, trust me!!