Fa la la la la la la la la.
Now Christmas is over I would like to bring up the spectre all over again and say wasn’t it great huh? Huh? Huh huh huh??? Ok admittedly when you get down to the bare bones of yer actual Christmas and how that long haired guy was born and came to deliver mankind from all types of nasty nasty things it probably wasn’t THAT good because who goes to church these days anyway? If you do go to church on a regular basis and are now getting ready to rant at me then please feel free but you have to admit that when that little bowl is passed around at the end of the service these days that there aint quite as much in there that there used to be is there?
But enough about the religion part of it all, that bit is not what Christmas is all about for me. Nope not one little bit. I am going to stand up now and proudly announce that it is all about the presents, no, it is all about the presents and the food and the drink and the general bit about spoiling people and getting spoilt, mostly about getting spoilt though. I am not getting all selfish here either, I have one stonking excuse for why I am like this, see Christmas is also my birthday. You could say I am the second coming, my ego certainly thinks so sometimes anyway, but I said you could say that, me I would never dare think such a thing, (of course I am condemned already so moving swiftly along…)
Yes dear reader you read right, I was born on that day. Something that has always happened when I tell people what day my birth falls upon they look at me strangely and will say 2 things.
1) No. Really??
2) So. Do you only get one lot of presents then?
We can see a lot of what we think of Christmas in those 2 questions can’t we. The first bit is that it is strange to believe that someone is born on Christmas day! It is like we think the world stops and for one day of the year expectant mothers all around the world are squeezing their legs shut as tight as they can and are willing the child back up the birth canal because nothing happens on that day apart from turkey and stuffing! The second thing we can see of course is that we all associate Christmas with presents and are potentially concerned that someone might only get one lot of presents during the year. It is nice though to have people worry about the fact that you don’t get enough presents during the rest of the year, makes you like mankind just that little bit more doesn’t it?
Aye but there’s the rub isn’t it. We don’t think that it is unusual for someone to be born on Christmas day because that is when the saviour of man was born (and no I don’t want to get into a discussion on the fact that he was born in the summer and not in a stable and that Frankenstein wasn’t even invented yet let alone be there at the birth! (oh it was funny, admit it!)). I am for all intents and purposes an atheist, I don’t think when I die I am going to go to heaven or hell and I don’t think there is a God, I do however think it is quite sad for my God fearing friends who do go to church to ask me about presents and worry that I might not get any at any other time of the year.
Never fear on that aspect though, we have plenty of other things to celebrate during the year, Valentines, wedding anniversary, Fathers day (I have 2 dogs, we haven’t told them yet they are adopted so shhhhh), Easter and finally Horatioday. Yup June 15th is officialy Horatioday this year and there will be presents and there will be merry making and once again I will be the centre of attention, oooh how I hate that feeling! 
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So how was my Christmas? It was fine thank you, I was told I cooked a great turkey with all the trimmings, even though I think they are all lying through their teeth it was nice of them to say so. All the parents went home quite early so that was nice and I got enough presents to keep me happy for a few months. How about you dear reader? How did you fare? You can tell me, I won’t tell a soul… honest… Ok, I might but that is a risk you have to take isn’t it? Huh? Huh huh huh? Or should that be Ho Ho Ho?